> ~ Insights by SewCalGal ~

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Stitching Friendships

I've always been amazed how you can meet a quilter, in just about any part of the world, and typically feel a special friendship form instantly. 

This past week I met a woman, who was buying items at JoAnns to help decorate her son's apartment.  She was from the East Coast and didn't have any coupons.  I gave her mine and she gave me a fantastic hug in exchange.  My gift of coupons was a simple gesture.  Her gift of a heartfelt hug reminded me how friendships can be quickly formed through our love of stitching, but it isn't the actual stitching that forms the friendships....it is the words of support, kindness, and encouragement that build those friendships.

Sadly, words can also hurt.  People say things, maybe without thinking, or without intending to be harmful, but there are words that can be painful. Words have the power to stop creativity from growing.  Words can teardown friendships, or stop friendships from building.  Too many times I've seen talented people shutdown after such words have been said to them, or indirectly spoken about them or their work!    And, when this happens others are harmed too! 

I have enough of a challenge of not sticking my foot in my mouth, or saying something unintentionally that hurts someone.  Yet, while I know I'm not perfect (at anything I do), I also struggle when I get into situations where a group, or a friend,  that I care about, becomes caught up in a situation where such negative words do harm.


















So, today my dear friends, I simply want to inspire everyone to take time and share kind words with others.  You have the power to encourage others to create and find joy!  You have the power to inspire others with your words of support and positive feedback.    

To all of you that continually send positive words and encouragement my way, Thank you with all my heart.  I try hard to pay this forward each day!  I do believe we can all use more positive words in our lives, and can benefit by do this to build friendships and groups that help to inspire creativity and fun!

Just as with every stitch, every word can make a difference.

Hugs, many hugs,

SewCalGal

48 comments:

Lynda Halliger Otvos (Lynda M O) said...

You are welcome--so much of your site inspires me....

Jocelyn said...

Darlene, what a beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing such truth. May we all pay it forward with words of encouragement and kindness.

Talin's Corner said...

I loved your post. I found myself agreeing with everything you said. I hope everyone who reads it will pay it forward.

Weatherbee ;) said...

Very sweet. Thank you so much for sharing such wonderful inspiration. :)

Dana Gaffney said...

Then let me say this, You inspire me, I love to read your blog and I look forward to your replies. I have gone back and read things you wrote because they make me feel good. You give a lot of kindness and encouragement and I really appreciate you.

Lesly said...

True words! Thanks for the inspiration!

Anonymous said...

Awesome! Are there more words to say how inspiring your words are? Nope, I'll stick with

Awesome!

Handmade With Love said...

Well said SewCalGal!
Thanks for this timely reminder.
Susan

Karen - Quilts...etc. said...

neat! it is always nice to help someone out when you really do not think you are doing that big of a deal. With all these cards that get scanned at the grocery store at times there has been someone standing ahead of me from out of town stocking their camper with grocerys' the cashier will ask to scan a card and they say they don't have one - several times while overhearing this I ask is it ok if they use my card - the answer is always yes - it is no big deal to me other than I get a discount at the gas station attached in the parking lot - but I have gotten some very nice thank you's which make you feel good when you realize the person actually saved more than a couple dollars.
Karen
http://karensquilting.com/blog/

SheilaC said...

AMEN, Darlene :)

Great post!

SheilaC

Stray Stitches (Linda G) said...

What a wonderful post. Sometimes we just need to be reminded how words can either be given with love or thrown like a sword.

Janet said...

Let me pay it backward as well as forward. You have shared incredible sweetness with us today and reminded us not only that the hard words can hurt but that the loving words need to be spoken. Thanks.

Dawn said...

Amen :)

MoeWest said...

So true! It takes so little of our time to uplift someone's spirits with words of encouragement. I get a lot of inspiration from your blog. Thanks!

Diane H said...

Treating others as you would like to be treated works pretty well. Thank you for such a lovely post - I'm 'borrowing' the wonderful saying so I can pass it on - hope that's okay!

Barb said...

You never cease to amaze me, what a lovely post, a healing post for those who have been hurt in such a way. you are always thinking of others and you are right, time to move on.

I hope you have alot of visitors to this post.

Jan said...

Very insightful post, Darlene. Thank you.

Wacky Woman said...

Well said!

Vicki said...

Thank you Darlene for your wonderful inspiring post. We all need to take the time to encourage each other and ourselves since I do believe that often we are our own worst enemies when it comes to judgement. Keep up the great work that you do on your blog, I enjoy reading your entries. Have a wonderful rest of the week.

Angie said...

Thank you for sharing this, Darlene. It resounds with me this week precisely because I read something by someone I admire, directed at some young quilters, lacking diplomacy to say the least and that ended up by hurting them. I felt sad, because it was pointless and instead of edifying and uplifting some promising young quilters, it discouraged them. May I think twice before I speak...

PaTcHwOrK jEnN said...

So true. thanks for the reminder SewCAlgal! Off to spread kind words!

Kristy Armstrong said...

Thanks for the very important reminder!!

annieb said...

Thanks for this post- I have had some negative comments that make me shake my head...I wonder...what makes them so prefect...

IHaveANotion ~ Kelly Jackson said...

Amen! :)

Smiles,
Kelly

PS....that is how I started signing smiles, kelly....because I noticed how often we all need a smile....a hug....and a kind word. I want to contribute to the good in this world.

momto2wasd said...

What a nice, heartfelt post. I think you do a great job of being supportive and encouraging on your blog. That is the "tone" that comes through.

Kim D. said...

This is a wonderful post, it's so refreshing to read such a positive post. Thanks for sharing.

Barbara said...

Good for you! I'm trying to be more positive in my day-to-day life. I just feel better when I keep a positive frame of mind. Life is too short to get upset over minor inconveniences. And I really loved your quotation.

Five years ago, I experienced a life-threatening ilness. When I got sidk, my so-called friends somehow disappeared off the face of the earth. I have always said that grief rewrites your address book, and this experience definitely rewrote mine. There can be a period of loneliness when one figures out that one's friends aren't really the people you thought they were.

I recently wrote a post on a quilting forum where I pledged to be more positive in my comments. Interestingly, most people who responded said they were reserving their right to be crabby and said they weren't up for the pledge. Oh well. I'm not trying to change the world. Only myself.

Take care. Great post, and for me, so timely.

Nini said...

It's a good lesson to apply to our daily lives...thanks for the reminder. Sending hugs!

Gina said...

What a lovely gesture in the shop.

You are so right about words hurting, even unintentionally. I try and think before I speak or write anything that could be misinterpreted.

Love and hugs Gina xxx

Shelley said...

You're a wise woman and thanks for this post :) I agree totally.

Lis Harwood said...

Inspiring words. It takes no more effort to be kind than unkind.

Sandy said...

Thank you and here's a hug! fondly, Sandy

Pokey said...

Thank you, my friend! This is too good, too true. In my classroom closet there is a note on the wall left there by a teacher before me:

Take time every day to say something kind to every student.

It's so easy to let the opportunity pass, but kindness matters! You do that for so many, thank you.
Hugs, pokey

Pamela said...

Wow thanks for sharing awesome post! Blessings to you.

Rhonda said...

Excellent post. When I taught school one of our things we drilled into the children was..."I know something good about you!" Just that statement at the end of each day uplifted the kids a bit at a time, so that on the playground you could hear some of them saying to their classmates...."I know something good about you!"

West Michigan Quilter said...

What a wonderful post. I too think quilters are the nicest people in the world. The ones I've met are so positive and I'm always amazed when I read that someone has been mean. I hope that hasn't happened to you. I love your blog and what you do.

sewfunquilts said...

Darlene..

That's my kind of thinking & glad you wrote it. I also noticed the AccuQuilt GO colors too! (tee hee...thought you'd sneak that past us, huh?)

Anonymous said...

Who cares about the Accuquilt colors???? Very nice post... if you meant it. And I hope you did! Found you on facebook and found your blog. This Accuquilt GO "game" on the internet has created A LOT of unnecessary anguish to a lot of people. Nasty posts and jumping through hoops to "win" this tool.

Anyway... your post was indeed well said and received by me. Quilters, for the most part, have been the nicest people I have met on line and in shops. We share a common love of fabric and creativity and willingness to share. Don't be blind-sided by the other "stuff." ... Karen

tich said...

I wholeheartedly agree with what you say. It is too easy to judge, critisise, condemn. Wouldn't it be nice if we smiled, praised and thought of the effort that people put into even the humblest piece of work.
Smile the next time you go out. It is amazing the difference it makes!

Nedra said...

Amen!!

Trudi said...

Like Dana, you inspire me, I love your blog, and am always thrilled to hear from you. Thank you for such a wonderful post, sending you big hugs across the pond :)

paulette said...

Well said!! Thanks for a brilliant Post!!
Paulette

Lana said...

Without your posting and encouraging words I wouldn't be where I am today in this little blog world. Thank you for the bottom of my quilts. :)
You have been awesome!

Micki said...

I agree with you that words can hurt, and your post was wonderful!
Micki

quiltingnana said...

such truth.....great post

Pat Sloan said...

fabulous thoughts today!

Sandie @ crazy'boutquilts said...

What a thoughtful post. You are right~ life is too short, be happy! Have a happy weekend!

Khris said...

This touches me in so many ways. So many times those little things we do can make us feel so good. Just as you would have felt with that hug from a stranger you gave the coupon to. You are a special person. I love giving more than receiving and always have done...not saying I don't always feel so special when I do receive from somebody.
Hugs Khris